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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My Mother In Law

I love my mother in law. She is such a good person. Kind, caring, helpful, never butts in my marriage, and never offers advice unless she is asked. I admire and respect her so much.

I am scared now. She is ill. It started about 1 1/2 maybe 2 years ago at the most. SHe began to have trouble walking. She kept tripping and falling over nothing. Her feet weren't working. She went to the doctor. THey ran tests. THey sent her to Houston to see more doctors for more tests. She went from walking with a cane, to using a walker, to being full time in a wheelchair in less than a year. Now she is using a breathing machine at night when she sleeps, and sometimes during the day as well.

SHe said at first they suspected ALS. Lou Gherig's disease. Then she said they were mistaken.

SHe never has come out and said "this is what is wrong." We don't ask. She hasn't wanted to talk about it.

She never complains. When you ask how she is doing, she says "I'm fine as can be." She gets together with her friends. THe friends that she has always been there for, have made it a point to be there for her. THey come to her house for lunch, and to play cards. THey decorated her house for Christmas, and then came back and took the decorations down.

She goes to physical therapy, swim class for exercise, and shopping if someone will drive her new van, so that she can just roll her chair into it. She does this cheerfully, with a smile and laugh.

The only time I have really seen frustration on her face was the day when she realized that she couldn't play the piano anymore. Not that she played it all that much before she was sick, but she could if she wanted. Then when Wyatt expressed an interest, she tried and couldn't quite do it. I saw the look on her face and it made me sad.

She wants to meet with the family this weekend, with an attorney. I am ascared. I don't want to hear bad news. ALthough I know it is coming. I am not ready for this.

I'm sad. I am letting Wyatt spend as much time with her now. So what if he misses a field trip or an activity with daycare. I feel it is more important to let him go and stay with her and my fil. I was glad that they went on the cruise with us last month.

I'm scared. I'm sad. SHe doesn't deserve this horrible illness.