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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My good day...

SO far so good... I have not yelled at anyone... even the brat who told me that I was the a Mother F'ing Biotch from Hell and I don't have to do this Math work if I don't want to do it" ... I said "well now, here's your write up, go to the office and finish your work there"

I have had a great afternoon.. I cooked dinner... I like cooking when I don't have to rush... granted it was just "breakfast" for dinner, but I like making biscuits from scratch... I am weird that way...

I actually bought myself a new book, instead of waiting for it at the library... I love the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan, and I started reading this book in the parking lot... lol... I didn't read it while driving, although I was tempted so I put it WAYYYYY in the back of the cargo area of the car... lol Percy was calling me.. lol

I finally finished all of the teacher gifts for wyatt for the week... 1 altered paint can (full of nail polish/pedicure things for "pamper the teacher day").... 1 altered clipboard for "office supply" day.... 12 altered ink pens (ribbon wrapped with pretty daisies on them, all stuck in a painted flower pot) for "flower day".... and I helped wyatt put the finishing touches on the book he wrote for her for "book day"... (he wrote the cutest story about a boy on a cruise, and used pictures from our vacation to tell the story)... I started all of this mess on Sunday... finally finished...

My grades are all averaged, the kitchen is cleaned, the house is relatively clean...and I brought home no extra work... everything can wait until tomorrow... soo I plan on fixing a big old glass of diet coke, curling up with Percy, and hopefully not get so "into" the book that I stay up all night to finish it.....

I have 11 school days left. THat's a great feelings. Wait, I Have 10 days left, I took one day off so that I can go watch my son at his awards day program. Yippee...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Focus on Me!!!

THat's my goal. I said something to someone that was over the line. I am not proud of that. I never thought I would react the way I did. However, being as that I am human, I made a mistake and I screwed up. I can't change it. I can't make it right. All I can do at this point is focus on ME and figure out how to NOT let that happen ever again. THat's my goal.

I shared my mistake with friends. Knowing the full well ahead of time, the outcome that would follow. I needed to hear the negative and hurtful things they were going to say. I needed them to tell me that I was wrong. Because I could have easily hidden what I have done. Not told anyone. Lived my life trying to bury the deed. But I didn't. I laid it out there for them to know. I was ready to hear the hurtful things. I knew that my friends would be horrified, but that they would eventually help me through this. SOme have done that. Their words of wisdom and suggestions of how to handle this have been much appreciated. SOme have decided that I am a liar. That I made it all up. THAT was uncalled for. SO I walked away from my friends for now. If I had stayed, I would have said some very hurtful things to them, and I do not want to be that person ever again. THis time I can walk away before I say them.

So if my true friends are reading this, and you wonder where I have gone, I am here. Focusing on me. Reeavaluating my life, and talking with someone who can help me. I am moving forward. I can't change the past. I am working on the now, and looking to the future.

For everyone, just remember, we all make mistakes. SOme mistakes are big, others are minor. BUT we all make them. It's part of life and part of being human. I believe that the key to life is that we learn from our mistakes, never to repeat them, and to become a better person from having made them. That is my focus. Me and my mistake. HOw to never repeat it, and to become a better person because of it.